UNPACKING THE SERENITY PRAYER:
FROM A MODERN ADDICTION SCIENCE PERSPECTIVE
The Serenity prayer is about how we think. The way we think, changes the way we feel. This prayer is ultimately about acceptance, surrender and transcending external temporary happiness, into permanent internal joy.
In order to appreciate the Behavior Science behind the Serenity Prayer, one must operationally define both serenity and addiction.
Serenity is defined as the state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled.
Addiction as defined by Lance Dodes MD, Addiction Psychiatrist, is a displaced or indirect response to one emotion and that emotion is FEAR!
Here is how it works psychologically: "All addictions are caused/driven by one underlying emotion: intolerable, overwhelming, helplessness (fear)." When one feels helpless, they feel trapped, powerless and out of control. People attempt to reverse feelings of helplessness and regain control of their feelings or emotions, with either direct healthy behaviors, or corrupt displaced behaviors. This is exactly how all addictions work. When specific circumstances that are important to you and overwhelming for you, how do you regain control of how you feel? As humans, we always try and regain control of our emotions our feelings! For example, you just learned that you lost your job. If this is important to you and you feel overwhelmed, powerless and helpless in the face of this circumstance, do you get drunk (displaced) or work on your resume (direct)? When people act compulsively, with repeat displaced behaviors, this is called an addiction. The antidote is to react with healthy behaviors that are of high value to you and hence empower you to regain control of your feelings in a more direct manner.
So now, let's unpack the Serenity Prayer: The Serenity Prayer reads as follows:
RECOGNIZE:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Behavior Science: Recognize that the pathway to inner peace is having your emotions work for you and not against you. Recognize your emotions but don't let them control your behavior. Accept life's circumstances. Take responsibility. Don't blame other people, places and circumstances. Accept and embrace your emotions but don’t let them become you and control you. This differentiation, takes wisdom. Focus on what you can control! Have the courage to regain control with empowering direct, high value, behaviors and not displaced corrupt behaviors. Understand the psychology of addiction, which is simply a method of regaining control over one’s emotions (feeling helpless).
Proverbs 29:11 “A fool vents all their feelings but a wise person holds them in check.”
REFRAME:
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Behavior Science: Reframe your thinking and emotions. Dealing with hardship is human and inevitable. Life is not fair, easy or painless and we don’t always get what we want. The core of addictive thinking is inherent in this belief. Believing this premise, from an emotional perspective, is a recipe for lowering your resistance to intolerable, overwhelming circumstances, that make us feel helpless, trapped, powerless and out of control! Accept the good and the bad in life. Life is a package deal. Investigate your feelings with mature expanded curiosity and discovery. Don't catastrophize your circumstances, take baby steps forward and keep perspective. Take control, don't be a victim, have perspective on life. Reframe your thinking with a mature, long term perspective and not the short term emotional perspective of a child! Lord we invite you into our lives, guide or foot steps and help us make wise decisions, help us to keep Your Will in mind, especially if that is obscured by our own.
Romans 12:2: “Don’t be conformed to this world but be transformed with new thinking.” Mathew 11:28: “Come to me all those who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.”
REPLACE:
Trusting that He will make all things right,
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
Behavior Science: Replace your old displaced behavior with new direct behavior. Trust, Surrender and Replace for happiness and joy! God's plan for us is empowering! Values and purpose are the main navigational tools in life! Delegate control to God with respect to dealing with all our circumstances in life. When we surrender our lives to Jesus Christ (2 Cor. 12:9-10), His grace is sufficient for us and we become empowered. We begin the process of sanctification. Sanctification makes us one with Jesus Christ, and in Him one with God. We become empowered with the Holy Spirit (John 14:16) and that includes such values as Joy and Self Control (Gal. 5:22-23). We learn to reverse feelings of helplessness with direct healthy behaviors that honor God and make us, "New Creations!" We replace the old with the new! (2 Cor. 5:17). We have the peace of mind to accept all circumstances in life, we have the courage to act with empowering direct healthy behaviors that replace old displaced corrupt behaviors and the wisdom to understand the psychological difference. This is the antidote for reasonable happiness on this planet, and more importantly, goes to the connection of supreme happiness or joy in the next. Bottom line, trust and delegate control to Jesus Christ and you will supersede temporary external happiness with that of intrinsic permanent joy in heaven.
(2 Cor. 12:9-10 My grace is sufficient for you for there is power in weakness. Galatians 5:23: The fruits of the Holy Spirit are: love, JOY, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, SELF CONTROL." 2 Corinthians 5:17 if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new).
In order to appreciate the Behavior Science behind the Serenity Prayer, one must operationally define both serenity and addiction.
Serenity is defined as the state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled.
Addiction as defined by Lance Dodes MD, Addiction Psychiatrist, is a displaced or indirect response to one emotion and that emotion is FEAR!
Here is how it works psychologically: "All addictions are caused/driven by one underlying emotion: intolerable, overwhelming, helplessness (fear)." When one feels helpless, they feel trapped, powerless and out of control. People attempt to reverse feelings of helplessness and regain control of their feelings or emotions, with either direct healthy behaviors, or corrupt displaced behaviors. This is exactly how all addictions work. When specific circumstances that are important to you and overwhelming for you, how do you regain control of how you feel? As humans, we always try and regain control of our emotions our feelings! For example, you just learned that you lost your job. If this is important to you and you feel overwhelmed, powerless and helpless in the face of this circumstance, do you get drunk (displaced) or work on your resume (direct)? When people act compulsively, with repeat displaced behaviors, this is called an addiction. The antidote is to react with healthy behaviors that are of high value to you and hence empower you to regain control of your feelings in a more direct manner.
So now, let's unpack the Serenity Prayer: The Serenity Prayer reads as follows:
RECOGNIZE:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Behavior Science: Recognize that the pathway to inner peace is having your emotions work for you and not against you. Recognize your emotions but don't let them control your behavior. Accept life's circumstances. Take responsibility. Don't blame other people, places and circumstances. Accept and embrace your emotions but don’t let them become you and control you. This differentiation, takes wisdom. Focus on what you can control! Have the courage to regain control with empowering direct, high value, behaviors and not displaced corrupt behaviors. Understand the psychology of addiction, which is simply a method of regaining control over one’s emotions (feeling helpless).
Proverbs 29:11 “A fool vents all their feelings but a wise person holds them in check.”
REFRAME:
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Behavior Science: Reframe your thinking and emotions. Dealing with hardship is human and inevitable. Life is not fair, easy or painless and we don’t always get what we want. The core of addictive thinking is inherent in this belief. Believing this premise, from an emotional perspective, is a recipe for lowering your resistance to intolerable, overwhelming circumstances, that make us feel helpless, trapped, powerless and out of control! Accept the good and the bad in life. Life is a package deal. Investigate your feelings with mature expanded curiosity and discovery. Don't catastrophize your circumstances, take baby steps forward and keep perspective. Take control, don't be a victim, have perspective on life. Reframe your thinking with a mature, long term perspective and not the short term emotional perspective of a child! Lord we invite you into our lives, guide or foot steps and help us make wise decisions, help us to keep Your Will in mind, especially if that is obscured by our own.
Romans 12:2: “Don’t be conformed to this world but be transformed with new thinking.” Mathew 11:28: “Come to me all those who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.”
REPLACE:
Trusting that He will make all things right,
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
Behavior Science: Replace your old displaced behavior with new direct behavior. Trust, Surrender and Replace for happiness and joy! God's plan for us is empowering! Values and purpose are the main navigational tools in life! Delegate control to God with respect to dealing with all our circumstances in life. When we surrender our lives to Jesus Christ (2 Cor. 12:9-10), His grace is sufficient for us and we become empowered. We begin the process of sanctification. Sanctification makes us one with Jesus Christ, and in Him one with God. We become empowered with the Holy Spirit (John 14:16) and that includes such values as Joy and Self Control (Gal. 5:22-23). We learn to reverse feelings of helplessness with direct healthy behaviors that honor God and make us, "New Creations!" We replace the old with the new! (2 Cor. 5:17). We have the peace of mind to accept all circumstances in life, we have the courage to act with empowering direct healthy behaviors that replace old displaced corrupt behaviors and the wisdom to understand the psychological difference. This is the antidote for reasonable happiness on this planet, and more importantly, goes to the connection of supreme happiness or joy in the next. Bottom line, trust and delegate control to Jesus Christ and you will supersede temporary external happiness with that of intrinsic permanent joy in heaven.
(2 Cor. 12:9-10 My grace is sufficient for you for there is power in weakness. Galatians 5:23: The fruits of the Holy Spirit are: love, JOY, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, SELF CONTROL." 2 Corinthians 5:17 if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new).
