The seven core scriptures take us from, understanding our emotions, asking God for help, changing our thinking, delegating control to Christ, God reciprocates with a Helper that facilitates with fruit or values, such as self control and our replacing our old selves and becoming New Creations.
In the book, Heart of Addiction, we see that virtually every addictive act is preceded by a feeling of helplessness or powerlessness. Addictive behavior functions to repair this underlying feeling of helplessness. It is able to do this because taking the addictive action (or even deciding to take this action) creates a sense of being empowered, of regaining control—over one’s emotional experience and one’s life.
There are other ways to escape feeling overwhelmed, helpless, trapped and out of control. They are all in scripture.
John 14:16 "And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever--."
The Helper is empowering. While there are many approaches to resolving addictive behavior, the ultimate, empowering and truly unique solution, only comes from God, with an indwelling and seminal psychotherapist (Paraclete/Mentor) and He’s freely provided it to every one of His children, if they choose to accept. When we are spirit filled, it is much easier to act with direct healthy behaviors. If we are in Christ, then as He works to conform us to His image, the evidence will be displayed in our character, conduct, and conversation-our behavior. When we, surrender our lives to Christ, we choose to, “Intellectually Delegate,” control to God. It is the Holy Spirit that God uses for “Reciprocal Innervation,” to empower us to regain control in direct healthy ways. When we surrender, God reciprocates with the Helper, our own personal psychologist. 😊 The Father knew we couldn't follow Him without help—that was why Jesus told the disciples to remain in Jerusalem until after the arrival of the Holy Spirit. Whatever we are called to do in the inevitable adversity of life, daily obedience or in lifelong vocation, our Helper/Mentor, offers direction. And when we are beset by overwhelming, helpless circumstances, tough times or temptations, God’s Spirit and fruit or values, provides strength and encouragement and facilitates DIRECT CHRIST DRIVEN BEHAVIOR, that empowers us in regaining control. Embrace Empower and Experience His peace and follow his direct guidance.
Recognize: Write down what makes you feel overwhelmed, helpless, trapped, powerless and lacking control.
Reframe: Write down your various choices on how to respond to your helpless circumstance. Do a cost benefit analysis with long term consequences not just short-term quick fixes or mood changers.
Replace: Act with direct behaviors that are of important to you, of high value, that empower you in healthy ways. When we empower ourselves, we feel in control, we escape the helplessness trap! This is the key to managing our behaviors. Go for a run, exercise, talk to God, listen to music, even watch Netflix. Where do you get your power? Whatever you do in God’s name is a high value behavior. Ask God to give you a special, empowering behavior that you can act on. Colossians 3:17: Whatever you do in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus....
There are other ways to escape feeling overwhelmed, helpless, trapped and out of control. They are all in scripture.
John 14:16 "And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever--."
The Helper is empowering. While there are many approaches to resolving addictive behavior, the ultimate, empowering and truly unique solution, only comes from God, with an indwelling and seminal psychotherapist (Paraclete/Mentor) and He’s freely provided it to every one of His children, if they choose to accept. When we are spirit filled, it is much easier to act with direct healthy behaviors. If we are in Christ, then as He works to conform us to His image, the evidence will be displayed in our character, conduct, and conversation-our behavior. When we, surrender our lives to Christ, we choose to, “Intellectually Delegate,” control to God. It is the Holy Spirit that God uses for “Reciprocal Innervation,” to empower us to regain control in direct healthy ways. When we surrender, God reciprocates with the Helper, our own personal psychologist. 😊 The Father knew we couldn't follow Him without help—that was why Jesus told the disciples to remain in Jerusalem until after the arrival of the Holy Spirit. Whatever we are called to do in the inevitable adversity of life, daily obedience or in lifelong vocation, our Helper/Mentor, offers direction. And when we are beset by overwhelming, helpless circumstances, tough times or temptations, God’s Spirit and fruit or values, provides strength and encouragement and facilitates DIRECT CHRIST DRIVEN BEHAVIOR, that empowers us in regaining control. Embrace Empower and Experience His peace and follow his direct guidance.
Recognize: Write down what makes you feel overwhelmed, helpless, trapped, powerless and lacking control.
Reframe: Write down your various choices on how to respond to your helpless circumstance. Do a cost benefit analysis with long term consequences not just short-term quick fixes or mood changers.
Replace: Act with direct behaviors that are of important to you, of high value, that empower you in healthy ways. When we empower ourselves, we feel in control, we escape the helplessness trap! This is the key to managing our behaviors. Go for a run, exercise, talk to God, listen to music, even watch Netflix. Where do you get your power? Whatever you do in God’s name is a high value behavior. Ask God to give you a special, empowering behavior that you can act on. Colossians 3:17: Whatever you do in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus....
Truth: While you may not be accomplishing what you think you want you are accomplishing what you really want.
Bottom line: To be successful look at your goals, check your behaviors, and accept those behaviors as evidence of what you really want. If you are not satisfied with what you see then make the needed changes immediately.
Homework:
Bottom line: To be successful look at your goals, check your behaviors, and accept those behaviors as evidence of what you really want. If you are not satisfied with what you see then make the needed changes immediately.
Homework:
- What one thing do I need to stop doing?
- What one thing do I need to keep doing?
- What one thing do I need to start doing?
What are THEMES?
Addressing feelings of helplessness is key to treating addiction. Since the things that set off urges to perform an addictive act are always related in some way to something very important to you, it turns out that if you can figure out this underlying theme you have also figured out something essential about yourself.
Dodes, Lance M.. Breaking Addiction (p. 13). Harper Perennial. Kindle Edition.
As you start to pay close attention to what is happening at the key moments when you first consider your addictive act—you will notice a common theme behind these moments. You will see that, repeatedly, you are terrified to be left out, or you feel humiliated or disparaged by others, or you feel you’re being treated as if you are weak, or you’re infuriated because you feel you aren’t being heard—or it might be you’re made anxious by success, fear of failure, or certain situations remind you of past traumas, or something else that is individual to you. Whatever it is, you can know it. It will be the central problematic theme of your life—an emotional vulnerability specific to you that surfaces again and again, and results in feelings of helplessness and powerlessness (what we have called the “helplessness trap”). Once you become familiar with this theme you will be able to think through these perilous occasions very far in advance. You will be able to avoid going through the stage of having addictive urges at all.
Example: In my case, my theme is that I despise when anybody tells me what to do. In fact if Nate was to ask for a show of hands, my first reaction is to never raise my hand. When any authority tells me what to do, my immediate reaction is an upset feeling. There is a reason I am self employed. I don't want anyone telling me what to do. If this scenario becomes intolerable for me and overwhelming, I feel helpless and trapped! I must regain control of this powerless feeling with some other behavior! I use to regain control with drugs and alcohol. I have since learned to regain control, escape the trap, with Christ Driven thinking and behavior.
Dodes, Lance M.. Breaking Addiction (pp. 117-118). Harper Perennial. Kindle Edition.
Addressing feelings of helplessness is key to treating addiction. Since the things that set off urges to perform an addictive act are always related in some way to something very important to you, it turns out that if you can figure out this underlying theme you have also figured out something essential about yourself.
Dodes, Lance M.. Breaking Addiction (p. 13). Harper Perennial. Kindle Edition.
As you start to pay close attention to what is happening at the key moments when you first consider your addictive act—you will notice a common theme behind these moments. You will see that, repeatedly, you are terrified to be left out, or you feel humiliated or disparaged by others, or you feel you’re being treated as if you are weak, or you’re infuriated because you feel you aren’t being heard—or it might be you’re made anxious by success, fear of failure, or certain situations remind you of past traumas, or something else that is individual to you. Whatever it is, you can know it. It will be the central problematic theme of your life—an emotional vulnerability specific to you that surfaces again and again, and results in feelings of helplessness and powerlessness (what we have called the “helplessness trap”). Once you become familiar with this theme you will be able to think through these perilous occasions very far in advance. You will be able to avoid going through the stage of having addictive urges at all.
Example: In my case, my theme is that I despise when anybody tells me what to do. In fact if Nate was to ask for a show of hands, my first reaction is to never raise my hand. When any authority tells me what to do, my immediate reaction is an upset feeling. There is a reason I am self employed. I don't want anyone telling me what to do. If this scenario becomes intolerable for me and overwhelming, I feel helpless and trapped! I must regain control of this powerless feeling with some other behavior! I use to regain control with drugs and alcohol. I have since learned to regain control, escape the trap, with Christ Driven thinking and behavior.
Dodes, Lance M.. Breaking Addiction (pp. 117-118). Harper Perennial. Kindle Edition.
Be Resilient and vulnerable but find purpose with connection with the Holy Spirit
PURPOSE:
Successful people are peak performers and peak performers are purpose driven. They feel, on the deepest of levels, that they were born to do a special work for a special reason. Once a person has determined their purpose they must embrace their mission. Then they will feel driven on the deepest of levels to get it done. Regardless! How blessed said person is.
1. To find your purpose answer these questions:
Once your statement of purpose is written you should read it twice per day. Preferably, before you go to work, and before you go to bed.
3. To accomplish your purpose you must be prepared, associate with the right people, and have the resources required.
4. To fulfill your purpose you must embrace level three thinking: Let me explain:Level one thinking: What do I want?
Level two thinking: What do I need?
Level three thinking: What will I do to magnify the talents and abilities God has given me so that I will best serve Him and His people?
Level three thinking is essential to fulfilling your purpose because when you accept that you are a special person, put on this earth to fulfill a special purpose, you will be empowered in the exact manner needed to accomplish your purpose.
5. To accomplish your purpose you must be willing to pay the price.If the price to accomplish your purpose is greater than the motive, then you will not accomplish your purpose. In contrast if the motive is greater than the price you will be unstoppable! Consider the following example:
If you owned a tire store you could either:
Once defined, your purpose will give you a goal to accomplish and the direction, motivation, and strength required to accomplish it. Why? Because with purpose you will:
Those who live without purpose are problem-centered. They have low self-esteem, lack motivation, and feel useless, which leads to stress, anxiety, and depression. For example, there are statistics indicating a large number of men die within a few years after retiring from high powered jobs where they were busy, responsible, challenged, and full of purpose. Living without purpose is a mistake that comes with ominous consequences. Don’t make it!
Truth: Work without purpose is empty. Money without purpose is empty. Life without purpose is empty. People with purpose have power. People with purpose succeed. To accomplish your purpose you must know what your purpose is. Once you know what your purpose is you must fulfill it, even when you don’t want to or struggle to see the reason.
Bottom line: People with purpose are willing to give up what they want now, for what they want or need in the future, which is to fulfill their purpose! Why is this so important? Because everyone needs a purpose to drive and motivate them in the manner needed to create a happy, meaningful, successful, prosperous, and balanced life!
1. To find your purpose answer these questions:
- Who am I?
- What was I born to do?
- What specific people, causes, or objectives are the most important to me?
Once your statement of purpose is written you should read it twice per day. Preferably, before you go to work, and before you go to bed.
3. To accomplish your purpose you must be prepared, associate with the right people, and have the resources required.
4. To fulfill your purpose you must embrace level three thinking: Let me explain:Level one thinking: What do I want?
Level two thinking: What do I need?
Level three thinking: What will I do to magnify the talents and abilities God has given me so that I will best serve Him and His people?
Level three thinking is essential to fulfilling your purpose because when you accept that you are a special person, put on this earth to fulfill a special purpose, you will be empowered in the exact manner needed to accomplish your purpose.
5. To accomplish your purpose you must be willing to pay the price.If the price to accomplish your purpose is greater than the motive, then you will not accomplish your purpose. In contrast if the motive is greater than the price you will be unstoppable! Consider the following example:
If you owned a tire store you could either:
- Sell as many tires and brakes as possible with the specific objective of increasing the bottom line.
- Look for opportunities to improve safety by making sure everyone’s tires and brakes are adequate.
Once defined, your purpose will give you a goal to accomplish and the direction, motivation, and strength required to accomplish it. Why? Because with purpose you will:
- Know exactly what you are doing!
- Know exactly why you are doing it!
- Know exactly how it needs to be done!
- Refuse to quit!
- Insist upon succeeding!
Those who live without purpose are problem-centered. They have low self-esteem, lack motivation, and feel useless, which leads to stress, anxiety, and depression. For example, there are statistics indicating a large number of men die within a few years after retiring from high powered jobs where they were busy, responsible, challenged, and full of purpose. Living without purpose is a mistake that comes with ominous consequences. Don’t make it!
Truth: Work without purpose is empty. Money without purpose is empty. Life without purpose is empty. People with purpose have power. People with purpose succeed. To accomplish your purpose you must know what your purpose is. Once you know what your purpose is you must fulfill it, even when you don’t want to or struggle to see the reason.
Bottom line: People with purpose are willing to give up what they want now, for what they want or need in the future, which is to fulfill their purpose! Why is this so important? Because everyone needs a purpose to drive and motivate them in the manner needed to create a happy, meaningful, successful, prosperous, and balanced life!
Closing VICTORY Prayer:
Lord, we invite you into our life today. Guide our footsteps and help us make wise decisions in order to manage our feelings, our emotions. Help us to regain control over emotional circumstances in life, that make us feel helpless, trapped, powerless and lacking control. We I accept that we cannot control everything and we delegate that control to you, so that you will transform our thinking and empower us, through the Holy Spirit. Empower us to regain control with (Direct), assertive, Christ Driven values and behavior and not with (Displaced substitute behaviors), the quick fixes or mood changers of chemicals and other errant behaviors. Always allow us to be sensitive to Your Will, especially if You desire to change our plans and behavior.
Lord, we invite you into our life today. Guide our footsteps and help us make wise decisions in order to manage our feelings, our emotions. Help us to regain control over emotional circumstances in life, that make us feel helpless, trapped, powerless and lacking control. We I accept that we cannot control everything and we delegate that control to you, so that you will transform our thinking and empower us, through the Holy Spirit. Empower us to regain control with (Direct), assertive, Christ Driven values and behavior and not with (Displaced substitute behaviors), the quick fixes or mood changers of chemicals and other errant behaviors. Always allow us to be sensitive to Your Will, especially if You desire to change our plans and behavior.
